About two years ago I started being friends with this girl, Lydia, we became very good friends in a short amount of time, although before we actually hated each other. She was my only best friend, we spoke on the phone twenty hours a day, she used to came at my house often just because I didn’t like to go on the streets alone and when something bothered me I would always go to her for help, she always listened to me and always tried to help me, I loved her... . This happened in like 7th grade, before that I had another best friend, Anna, we continued to be friends, only not best friends. And so we all started to hang out, the three of us and two other girls. About a year later, I don’t remember exactly how, but Lydia told Anna she had fellings for her, about two months later the started being in a relationship. Since then, for like a month, Lydia and I had been arguing every day because suddenly she stopped talking to me and she didn’t listen to me when I told her my problems anymore. It’s been seven months and Lydia is still barely answering me and I still try. I’ve tried multiple times to tell her I don’t deserve this, to explain to her what she’s doing is wrong, to tell her how much I cared about her and that she is going to regret losing our friendship and many others. We had that kind of conversation this week... she told me that I did this to her first, that I ignored her and she tried, that she choosed not to try anymore because it hurts her and that I am the first person who made her suffer. I am sorry... I really am, you have no idea, but I still don’t think that it’s a good reason for her to do this to me now, ten times worse, to make me cry myself to sleep every night because she doesn’t really care about me anymore, because I didn’t realize, I didn’t want to hurt her, she never told me how she was feeling. I, on the other hand, have told her a thousand times.
I hope she sees this, although she will probably not, I hope she sees this to realize what she lost when she gave up on me. But then I realize that I still love her and I still can’t walk away from her , that if she decides to come back I will wait for her no matter what, and that hurts me even more.