I hate my mum.
She's never happy with me. I'm always being told what I can "improve" or "do better". What I do is never good enough for her. For fuck's sake I try my best. It just feels like she's not proud to have me as her daughter. She hasn't told me once that she's proud of me. She makes me do all this stupid shit and then whenever i get upset or angry, she says that i could've said no, that she gave me a choice but that's fucking bullshit. She never asks me if i want to do the things she wants me to do, she just fucking signs me up for them. It's so frustrating. She always asks if I've done all my assignments for school and if I read. If I happen to be watching a movie she tells me I should be studying. She never asks me how I feel. Not that I want her to, but she never even notices me unless she needs something or she wants someone to yell at. She said she's disappointed in me. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like she hates me. I haven't been feeling my best lately, and I've been spending most of my days in bed on my laptop doing nothing. I just lost all my motivation and I don't know what's going on with me. I wake up in the morning and ask myself: "why the fuck am I awake? what's the fucking point?" We're all going to die at some point right? Who cares when, who cares how. I'm so sick of my life. It's so uneventful it makes me sick. I am disgusted by who I'm becoming but I can't stop. I feel so fucking alone. I don't want anyone to tell me it's going to okay because that's bullshit. It's never going to be fucking "okay". It only gets worse. You only start to get used to it. For fuck's sake fuck this shit. I just want to fucking die.