Living with depression is just hectic. It takes a huge toll on my life every now and then. I am a wreck emotionally and mentally most of the times. I don't know when my mood will set off as low or I will have those mental breakdowns. I dont know when all of a sudden my mood will be low and I will be back to square one of thinking and wanting to die but not being able to. I dont know if I will ever be truly TRULY happy from the inside. I keep on punishing myself for mistakes I have made in the past which I dont want to but still I do. I feel like no one will ever understand me for exactly who I am. I feel like my success wont matter at the end. I feel like there is not a single person on this planet who is made for me. I dont believe in love and relationships anymore. At the end of the day everyone leaves you and you are back to square one. With none left but just you. and this scares me. scares me alot. I wonder how my life will be in the far future or will i even be alive to look back ?