I feel like I am too depressed and anxious to be good enough, but not depressed and anxious enough for my worthless a$$ to complain. I can still get up and fake a smile, and the only crying I do at night is from reading angsty Hamilton Fanfics on Wattpad. I do have minor anxiety attacks when my friends call me and I hate myself. I babe tried to self-harm but the damn knife won't go threw my skin no matter how hard I try. And I don't want to die. So I am not really very depressed, even though I deserve to feel that way, I don't.