???

What's happened to me??? 3 years ago I would cry for hours, afraid of dying. Now here I am, wishing for death before my freshman year even starts. I want this pain to end, but if I ended it myself, the people who say they "love me" would be obligated to feel sad. I just wish to know what it feels like to have someone embrace, care, and listen to me... My minds been bashing in all these horrible thoughts and my memories have been eating me from the inside out. I feel like a snake about to devour itself out of hatred and loneliness....