i know i’m annoying as fuck 24/7 and i can’t really explain why i feel the need to be a absolute spastic all the time but i try to be mature and i act like i’m man mad but i’m really not i just want someone to talk to who will actually understand what’s wrong with me i only have my eye on one person and i don’t even want to be with him bc i know what i’m like i can’t help myself but ruin everything good i get but anyway it’s like i’m a burden to everyone like even my own friends for i know i annoy them so much the way i never shut up about being insecure and stuff n i even annoy myself doing that n i sound like the biggest attention seeking bitch about but it’s not even attention i want in fact i don’t even know what i’m looking for out of it i never really know what’s wrong with me all i know is that when i’m out with my friends i do feel insecure and shy around people who i’m not really close w but i’m okay like there’s nothing that’s really bothering me but the second i go in home i just get fed up like i can’t be bothered with myself anymore i hate how i act and how i look and i know most other people hate it too and everyone try’s to make me feel better by giving me compliments that i’m never going to believe but it’s really nice of them for saying stuff to try and help me and i appreciate it but it just doesn’t change how i am i don’t know how i’m meant to explain any of this at all i’m just unhappy with who i am and my social anxiety is really bad and my friends don’t get it no one does