I have been having nightmares since I can ever remember. It’s nothing new in my life, actually I think since I was born I was having them. As a child I was having these terrible night terrors and I would wake up screaming like someone was killing me. About a month ago I started dating this amazing person and they are truly truly amazing. They give me the space to talk, they try to understand what I’m saying. They do know about my nightmares, but I just can’t tell them about it, the details. It’s just so painful and each time it’s like I’m reliving the entire experience. At the same time, I do want to tell them because it is important for me to tell them about what I feel. We have this relationship of trust in truthfulness. And I don’t tell them, I feel like I’m lying to them. And it’s not that I don’t want to tell them. But they ask me I tell them, but I just don’t say some details because I know… I just, I’m scared it will be scared of me, I think that I’m so messed up or crazy. We both are studying in psychology and universities so it’s not like they would actually judge me. But I still have this fear inside of me.
Anyway, this was my rant for the night.