when i first saw him on camsession i found him cute or idk what .then one fine day @ him saying he was cute .cute and silent but cute. He didnt know how to react lol .second time @him for gaming chair. Then had small conversations here and there. He identified me as a needy person at that time . I was a bit hurt when i first heard that but later accepted that because yes i was needy and i still am .I think this is what loneliness does to people . I have lost lots of self respect here but i think its okay to take help sometimes. I was aware that i am doing things wrong for longest time now. But couldn’t change because i didn't want .It was not the best feeling but holding onto that gave some sort of relief idk what that was deep down i was not happy.I saw that he was living alone and was concerned for him .At first he was very rude .I derived the conclusion myself that he is not rude he just tries to keep people away from his life or sth maybe due to his past experiences he is too focused the most hardworking person i have ever seen