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17 and sad

i'm 17 since 1 week.

i hate myself and where i live.

my familly is so stupid and i'm so scared to say it: i've been sexually assaulted by my ex boyfriend when i used to do xanax.

at 15 i also overdosed.i love my friends and boyfriend but wish they could all disappear so i could only be my myself.

my parents are divorcing so i have to live at my only grandma's house with my mom and sister while my dad will be homeless..well kind of. i dream about dying while crying. when i'm in a car i pray that i get in an accident and die on the road. i want to do drugs but i'm always home with my stupid family and i'm broke. my nudes are being leaked and everybody is calling me a hoe. sometimes i miss my ex boyfriend.

i'm scared of men but do anything so they would like me. i used to force myself to have sexual intercourses with boys that liked me so they would keep on apreciating me. one of them also choked me and gave me unwanted hickeys calling me "his thing". he used to force me to kiss him at school and touch my thighs. his friends locked me in the toilet and started to spank and touch me. life at home is hard, not a lot of food, arguing with my lunatic mom and my weed-addict dad a lot. Hiding my trauma and waiting for changes.

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Re: 17 and sad

You don't have to throw yourself at men just so they can like you. When you really like a guy and he doesn't reciprocate, I know it's hard but just try to move on. When the time comes, the right guy will come for you. You won't even have to have s*x with him before he can appreciate and cherish you. And as for your separating parents, try to tell the other relatives to help them so they won't jeopardize your lives in the process of pleasing themselves. Whatever is causes havoc in their relationship, let them sit and talk it out. It's one of life's challenges. Don't do anything silly cos of your current situation so you won't regret it when happiness comes knocking. God be with you dear.