Hi, I just wish I can tell my story to my friends or relatives but i'm not a kind of person who can freely tell my feelings to anyone bcs in my 21 years of living I know that nobody give a f*ck about what is happening in my life nor what I felt. So, in July 2020 I just turned to 21 y.o. Sadly I always cried on the day of my birthday, Odd, cz the next thing I know is I should live another day of my life just to suffer for loneliness. Anyway, It just came to my thought that, Nothing had happened in my 20 years of life (what a pity). I've never won anything, I've never achieved something useful in my life, and suddenly I realised my Life is pointless. In 2018 I lost my mum. I'm the first born in my family and I know I have to carry that "first-born responsibilities". I grow up in a religious family which consider depression as satanic act, that I should pray harder to avoid any negative thoughts, as far as I know, It doesn't help in a certain ways. My mind is fighting my heart, I split into two, this is the most frustrating phase in my entite life. And I just recall that I have no friend. I mean like the real friend to talk to about this, I don't know how to express my concern and currently I'm avoiding social interaction with everyone I know. That's it, I just have no Idea what I'm saying, I hate to be me and my life's sucks, I have so much in my head that I can't barely put into words :'(

Hi, I just wish I can tell my story to my friends or relatives but i'm not a kind of person who can freely tell my feelings to anyone bcs in my 21 years of living I know that nobody give a f*ck about what is happening in my life nor what I felt. So, in July 2020 I just turned to 21 y.o. Sadly I always cried on the day of my birthday, Odd, cz the next thing I know is I should live another day of my life just to suffer for loneliness. Anyway, It just came to my thought that, Nothing had happened in my 20 years of life (what a pity). I've never won anything, I've never achieved something useful in my life, and suddenly I realised my Life is pointless. In 2018 I lost my mum. I'm the first born in my family and I know I have to carry that "first-born responsibilities". I grow up in a religious family which consider depression as satanic act, that I should pray harder to avoid any negative thoughts, as far as I know, It doesn't help in a certain ways.My mind is fighting my heart, I split into two, this is the most frustrating phase in my entite life.And I just recall that I have no friend. I mean like the real friend to talk to about this, I don't know how to express my concern and currently I'm avoiding social interaction with everyone I know.That's it, I just have no Idea what I'm saying, I hate to be me and my life's sucks, I have so much in my head that I can't barely put into words :'(