It is currently 3 AM and it feels like the weight of time is pressing down on me. Being 27 and not anywhere close to where I want to be in life is overwhelming. The fact I’m even considered an adult feels laughable. I’m always seconds away from falling apart. And it is exhausting. Sometimes it makes me wonder what I did to end up in a vicious cycle anxiety and depression. And I know it doesn’t work that way, that it isn’t a rational thought. Which just makes me feel worse.
I don’t even know when I started feeling so disappointed and dissatisfied with my life, some days it feels like it has been that way forever.
I seriously don’t understand how people survive easily in this world let alone thrive. And I know everyone has their own struggles and burdens. What I don’t get is how they over come those things. I’m not even angry about it, just sad and confused.
I thought life was supposed to make more sense as an adult but the older I get, the more I see how big of a lie that is.
I can’t even keep a job because of severe anxiety, I push everyone away. It is lonely and hurts to know that there is no one to blame but myself.
I hate talking about my feelings to the people I know. I hate that is difficult to ask for help.
And now more than anything, I just want someone to tell me it will be okay. That in the future, things will ease up a bit and it will become bearable at least. I just want someone to be there as I figure things out. Support as I pick up the pieces of my life that somehow got shattered.