I have been reading a book about someone who committed suicide and there's this girl who was sent to the past to keep that someone to kill himself.
I'm not saying that this book as the reason why I have been planning to kill myself , but there's a whole other reason.
I don't know but I having nightmares about my past and it's getting into me, My parents, sisters and even my bestfriend didn't know that something happened to me.
It's very traumatic that I'm afraid to go to school, and the face to face thing are coming back. It's been a month since I last participated at school, or answered any of my modules. My teachers have been messaging me. I totally ignored school again and my parents didn't even know about it, my father think that it's strange tho cuz he's the who's supposed to submit my modules to school every wednesday.
No one has been there for me, they didn't even know that I'm depressed asf, I am literally the cheerful one in the house and I have to keep it that way for them not to notice anything.
I tried telling my sister before that I can't have friends cuz no one wants to and she used it against me, telling me that no one's gonna be friends with me because of my character. I do not dress nicely like them doesn't mean it like that. I mean I guess, I hope so.
I have been thinking , what someone was sent also me someone to save me, maybe she/he is trying to save me now. Well if he/she can't save me. then, no one can