4 years

22-07-2020

I feel so alone, despite the fact that I am surrounded by friends and family. I know I should feel blessed, lucky and be content with what I have. Both of my parents are alive, my siblings and dearest friends.

I hate that my mood depends on you, whether you will come see me or not. I know for a fact that if you truly wanted me, you would be here – Right? But you are not and that means that you do not love, care about or value me, but why do I care so much about you? I do not even know you that well, but why do I feel a connection? I am afraid of taking the first step and reconnect with you, I fear rejection.

I have to and will move on, I will find someone who loves me for me, but I wish you I never knew you. You are my first heartbreak, you played with my feelings for four years, indicating you want me while you act like I do not even exist.