agoraphobia

i used to be a relatively outgoing and bubbly child who was deemed a 'ray of sunshine' by my family. now i feel like i'm letting them down since i don't feel like the happy-go-lucky kid anymore.




i physically can't leave my house without panicking or obsessing over every detail of my appearance. once i stood by my window for over an hour holding a trash bag just to make sure once i exited the house, i wouldn't be seen.




both my mental and physical health are declining and my cries for help are mistaken for ways of instigating drama.




my friends are losing faith in me since i haven't done shit with them in the several years i've known them, but i don't know how to communicate my problems to them in a way in which they'd understand.




i want my teenage years to be full of blissful memories, yet i can't make any in the comfort of my house.




i'm a prisoner to my fear and i have to resort to these anonymous venting sites just so i can drop my burden elsewhere instead of facing it head on.


men and the outside world genuinely terrify me, and i feel as though the anxiety preventing me from asking for help has just led me to a long road of victimisation and relapse.