Between Hell and Hell

I am in a tough spot.

I had been dating a girl for 10 years. I honestly thought she was the one that I would end up with.

She chose her lesbian friends over me.

I am glad she's gone. I am. There were certain fundamental relationship things we disagreed upon.

But I still miss her. Its been four months.

And I'm in a lot of pain. Its bleeding into my work.

I need to find myself outside of her. But I cant. Myself scares me.

And I Wonder how it's like to feel nothing.