Boyfriend won’t give me head

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a couple months. I have given him head many times- not necessarily because I enjoy it but because I enjoy the joy it gives him. He hasn’t returned the favour yet so I plucked up the courage to ask for head which he shyed away from. He stated that he’s “not about it” or whatever. I have asked a couple times and can’t bring myself to ask again. At one point i frustratedly asked “so you will never give me head? ” and he said he would one day and that I would know when. I know him - and he wouldn’t just give me head out of no where, so basically he will probably never do it. It may not seem like a big deal but it’s more the fact that he’s not willing to do it for me - like he hasn’t even tried it, it’s a symbol of love in my eyes as your being intimate and giving your partner pleasure. I get that maybe he might not be “ready” yet but I just think he’s avoiding it and it makes me feel like shit lol :(