Just feel alone
Like I have no one
Even when I have people I know are
For me
They all all have this vibe like
Is today the day she won't be here
I don't want to do anything with myself anymore . I use to be optimistic , I still find myself being positive for other people
But for my own life I see nothing but people
Moving on
And out growing me
If today was my last
No one would be surprised
They might even feel relieved
For them and myself
Because I wasn't suffering
My boyfriend clearly is with me for
Reasons of pity and guilt
My children well they'd be the only ones who missed me if my youngest even remembers me
I feel like that was the plan overall though
Drive me to the point of suicide or to the point that I was deemed unfit
I wasn't always like this
But now I can't fight it
I'm going to die and I don't know when
I just know it won't be a surprise
People will barely miss or remember
me after a year
Every ones life will move on and be better without me
Maybe I'll be happier too I can watch over everyone and protect my children until I'm sure they can protect themselves and anyone elses
Who needs me
Maybe that's how it's supposed to be