Glory Days

What do you do when you feel like the best years are behind you? I'm 35 and in an unhappy relationship, but I can't seem to get out because I feel unlovable and incapable of love because of childhood trauma and indoctrination. I was too scared and insecure in my teens and most of my 20's to be able to enjoy life. Now I feel like my career is going down the tubes, I'm losing my hair, I'm losing my looks and I feel like it's all too late. I was a successful artist for the past 10 years and then all the work dried up and I'm back living with my mom. But it's what I love to do and I couldn't imagine myself doing anything else. Sometimes I feel like if there was a button to push that would allow me to simply not exist, I would push it immediately.