I am a victim of abuse

So this story happened 2/half years ago and it still gets to me to this day.

at first I was ashamed and I would try my hardest to forget about it so I wouldn’t have to re live the situation.

what happened was.

me and this guy let’s call him (Steve) met on an app and we was chatting and getting to know each-other and it was all going amazing we would FaceTime every night and he made out to be the best when deep down he wasn’t.

I was going through it , came out of a toxic 3 year long relationship and blew of steam and he was there.

this app I’ve used before and never for something like this. We arranged to meet up.

we was just planning on going for a drink at first and just chatting.

my friends walked me to meet this guy and made sure I did meet him.

My best friend had a bad gut feeling and didn’t want me to go but I did :( and I wish I didn’t.

My mum thought I was staying at my best friends that night but I wasn’t.

when we finally got to meet up he was NOTHING what he looked like on his photos it was him but let me tell you I got cat-fished.

but I’m not all for looks so I stayed if someone is genuine I don’t care about anything else.

as soon as we met up me and Steve went into a coffee shop.

he offered to get me something but I said no Thankyou since I had my own drink in my bag.

Let me set the picture for you

there was me and him sat on a table and then about 10 others around us.

as soon as I sat down he wanted to kiss me baring in mind WE WAS NOT AN ITEM and I made that clear.

After I didn’t kiss him he would slide his hand literally under my bum and groaped me and I was so fucking uncomfortable so I was like please stop.

my friends kept messaging me and was asking if I was okay and I was like ye I’m good it’s all good.

At this point he was straight away asking to go to his and this was a 1 hour drive away from my house I don’t know what came over me I was on my own scared feeling pressured so I said yes.

we got on the tram and then his Step mum picked us up.

she thought I was his girlfriend when I really wasn’t the whole car ride he was putting his arm around me she was asking questions what you would ask someone who’s dating your step son.

I well and truly at this point wanted to go home.

I had no money , I couldn’t ask his step mum , my mum thought I was at my mates and I was to scared to tell her.

when we got in he shown me his brothers room and this was also his first time sleeping at his step mums what I found weird.

His mum had made food for us but I wasn’t hungry at all and he got so mad that I wouldn’t eat it saying stuff like “she made this for us” and something clicked like this was a plan.

She was lovely I’m not hating on her but she then offered me a drink and I said yes.

After he ate he came in and told me his step mum was going to bed because she would be leaving early hours of the morning for work.

I wouldn’t sit next to him I felt so uncomfortable.

he then proceeded to call his friends and “show me off” Almost and I was just sat their awkward.

We had sex.

I agreed to it the first time we did it.

but as sooooon as I did it I felt dirty I hated every moment of it.

And after that I just wanted to go home I really did but was just so afraid.

It got later on and he said let’s to the living room and watch a movie and I was like yeah that sounds like a good idea so we did.

Movie was on for about ten minutes and boom he wanted something again straight away. Was touching on me and being weird and I said NO and he got annoyed shrugged away from me and was being so nasty.

I said I was just going to sleep in the room because I just wanted to and he said ye okay whatever so I did.

I got into bed went on my phone for an hour and was nodding off.

he had a slide door so it made a noise and I knew when he was coming in.

as soon as he got in boom he was all over me at this point and I froze I didn’t say a word he continued to try and have sex with me and I said no stop no so many times and he said “please just let me” “just let me do it” and even when I said no he didn’t.

he did what he wanted to do to me.

lay down and finished himself off.

I felt horrible.

I wanted to cry my eyes out but I was scared of what he would do.

It was the morning and I got up super early and planned my way home he was annoyed that I was leaving at first but he just said ok , I was in a area I had no idea about he pointed one way and said bye.

i got lost asked numerous people where to go and some old woman bless her heart saw me walking the same way and offered to take me to the Tram Station I managed to get on the tram and meet my friends at my stop and go home.

I told the guy what he did was wrong and I hated it and never wanted to speak again.

he said he was sorry and didn’t know what came over him and said he loved me.

its been 2/half years like I said I’m stuck it fucks be up to this day and I don’t know what to do :(