I wanna convey my feelings here

im feeling really down. I have 7 siblings and i am the eldest. Sometimes, my parents will pointed or say our mistakes generally which makes me feel a little bit depressed. idk if anyone can understand this feeling. You know, when you think you always helping them but at the end, they just like pointed all the mistakes. I act like i don't care about what they said but inside me, i really hate it. I feel like everything that i've done before means nothing to them. All they can do are seeing the mistakes. I really admire people who get compliments from their parents. I don't like to share this shit feeling to my friends because i am a person who like to open up to strangers rather than my close friends. I got this feeling where i want to yell or scream to them, saying that " can you stop being fucking ungrateful? don't u see that i am also doing my best?" Not to mention how i hate when they started to compare us with our relatives. My mind always be like "duh, now u became ungrateful about the fate tho? people don't share same fate and journey so why are you being so pissed of with that tho." There is a time when my parents ask my mom " why did our kids can do online business like their cousin?" because you don't know and you don't fucking care dude. I have my insecure, i hardly believe in myself. ( i only can say it in my mind). If there are any fairies out there, please, i want to make some wishes. I just want my parents stop comparing us and become more positive. That's all. Im out.