I’m going crazy

I like attention and I’ll do anything for attention but after a while I start to regret it then I go crazy and cut myself because I hate myself and my thoughts... I don’t do it intentionally it just feels like something over comes me and all I want is attention. When I am myself I like to be alone and draw or listen to music and it’s not like me to want attention but in crowds or around people something happens to me and I feel like I have to get noticed or atleast attract attention.. I don’t know what’s wrong with me and I hate it