I’m hopeless

hey, I’m here to at Least let all the things out inside of me, I’m having a lot of problems with my mother I just feel like she doesn’t like me, like she actually likes both of our maids more than me she says you don’t know anything and stuff sometimes I wanna tell her that she is a mom to teach me everything but I believe I’m alone in this world I do have a father but he doesn’t care and I’m actually really in love with a guy 3 years older than me, we are friends but I’m really having problems!!!! I feel like I’m hopeless in this world!!! I want to commit suicide, I don’t want to be alive anymore but also at the same time I’m afraid of dying