I’m sorry I’m broken mom and dad. You wanted a thoughtful and kind son and you got an angry and mean daughter. I feel like I never loved you but at the same time I’ll always love you. You guys never knew about the voices in my head. You never knew about the cuts on my arms. You never knew the guilt and remorse I felt. You saw me as a bully. You never heard my fake friends calling me insane behind my back. You never saw me trying my best to make strangers smile. You never saw anything I did to make it better. You saw me as a mean procrastinator that couldn’t get herself together.
When I was 5 you thought the angry phase would go away.
When I was 7 you thought the sad phase would go away.
When I was 10 you said I wanted attention.
I’m 13 now mom and dad. But you never saw anything did you?
I tried to love you. I tried to run away. I tried to take it all away. I tried to push myself away. But I can’t stop. I always wanted to be friends with little sis, I always wanted to be friends with my brother. But I can’t. I can’t do it. I can’t change.
Im sorry I’m broken mom and dad. I’m sorry I’m not what you wanted.