Is true love a lie.

I think i am running from people and relationships.... whenever i meet someone nice i start thinking of 100 ways it wouldn’t work... and even if i start a relationship i try to find stupid reasons to run and whenever i get a chance i leave that relationship... this obviously hurts the other person involved and me too... but i just can’t stay with anyone... i have this fear of them leaving me so i run from the start Only.... what i Don’t understand is why can’t i let go of this fear.... i have been in 2 relationships and I don’t know if it was me who ran or they gave me enough reasons to run.... if it is them or it’s me ... and i know i had my reasons then but now i am so scared of relationship that i have been single for 4 years now and I can’t be with anyone... or it’s maybe no one gets me and helps me overcome this... all anyone sees is the outer beauty and other stuff and when i show them how broken i am from inside they instead of helping me through that makes it worse... i just want someone to understand me... and love me for the person, not for the materialistic things i can offer... i feel so lonely ... i have people around me but no one gets me... i am so scared that i will never find anyone ... and this loneliness is really depressing.... also, a few guys who loved me or liked me I rejected them cz I can’t explain in words but i felt they don’t like for me... and now i think they were my best shot and maybe i will never find someone who will love me for me.