Loneliness

I’m 18. Highschool is the lowest point of my life. I’ve never been in a relationship, always had pretty friends while I struggled with insecurities and weight problems. Throughout highschool I made a goal I was going to glow up and live my senior year so good! Then came graduation and still a fat ugly girl. Became even more depressed , started parting away from my friends. Started using dating apps to find someone to love only to still not know how it works. At this point my depression is very noticeable for me. My anxiety shows more. Feels like I’m living in a stimulation. I wake up , go to work, go home & go to sleep. I don’t have fun anymore. Sometimes I wonder what my purpose is in this world. I wish I can just receive love and give love to someone. I don’t tell anyone my thoughts and it’s killing me.