My first Love..

I met him 3 yrs ago. Started off on the wrong foot...Our egos clashed, we fought.

But after an year things changed he became a little less aggressive towards me I became a little more understanding.

We started talking, chit-chats, became friends even worked on a school play together. Suddenly I shared everything with him. Things that I couldn't share with my girl besties, things about my past and all of that.

I found my best friend in him. I never thought about him in a romantic way it was always meant to be an honest friendship.

But my friends never saw it that way. They always thought something was brewing between us. I constantly kept ignoring their signs and was happy to be where I was.

2 years passed and school got over. He went to college that was out of town I stayed here and continued with my studies. Our conversations became lesser but I was happy. But one day just while I was talking to my friend I suddenly realised that I do love him. That was no attraction or crush but yes my first love.

I loved my best friend and I guess that realisation ruined my state of mind. I didn't know what to do I tried to meet him but our timings never matched. One day I told him my feelings over Instagram but again all of it in vain.

He neither rejected me nor accepted me. Kept avoiding the topic constantly said he was busy. I was frustrated and talked to him very rudely for many future conversations.

But I never ever got an answer from him. We are back to being friends and I am glad about that but it's hard to not being able to figure out his feelings. A lot of his actions give me hope but he never confesses.

He never cleared out things and I didn't want to touch that topic again. I just left it there not willing to sacrifice my friendship and also I didn't want to make me uncomfortable.

I love him and will always do. The way he makes me smile nobody ever can. I love everything about him and am desperate to shower him with my love but I can't force him. He is my first love but I feel he might also be the last. The way he comforts me, the way I can tell him everything without any hesitation, the way I am comfortable by his physical touch that man just stole my heart. He is the second best thing that happened in my life. I love him so much and can say that like a million times without ever getting tired.

If he does feel the same I just hope he confesses soon because I don't want him to come to me when it's too late. I love him and will always do. He will always hold a special place in my heart, in my soul. Sometimes I feel he is my soulmate but I have no idea why my love life is so messed up.

As they say everything happens for a reason, I guess this situation might also make me a stronger and better person. But it is true that falling in love with your best friend is not a great idea.....................