Numb

I need to get it off my chest and only way I can is post it here anonymously. My cousin forcefully fingered me last night and I cant share this to anyone. I froze and didnt know how to react. His parents were there too but they were asleep. He did it under the sheets. I wanted to push him and hit him but couldnt. I felt dead. And now I feel disgusted. I feel filthy. I want to just cry but I cant. I feel numb. I am spiritual and I was so happy about my life but this happened and now I dont know wat to feel anymore. Needed to get it off my chest. Thank you for listening.