being alive is a privilege.
someone cannot force another to enjoy being alive.
i am forced to enjoy being alive, when in reality i hate it so much.
i just wish i had my own place to let go of all of my pain. it hurts so bad.
i don't feel like i have taken advantage of being here. i think that i have done well with being grateful for everything i have been given or thankful for family and friends. But I will not lie, I am tired of not receiving what i give. i am the best version of me i can be whenever someone needs me, but i can no longer be that. i am losing energy everyday. i am tired of putting up a front and acting like i am okay when i am not. my own family doesn't even realize the pain in my eyes because i hide it so well. but i am not okay. i don't go to anyone about what i feel inside of me but maybe i should. i have a suicide note
here it is:
ecstasy killed me.
it became hard
this life thing that is,
i am tired of being here.
i'd rather much be alone then with people,
it seems the only time that would be possible is whenever i'm dead.
i could apologize, but what would i be apologizing for?
i don't feel like this is an act of selfishness..
i sent out cries for help
lol no one an help,
no one really listens,
no one really cares.
i;m alone in this small world, that's full of hate.
but the one thing that made me feel the most alive took
it right away. a small little thing that holds so
much power we never realize that, even something or
someone you adore so much can destroy you.
no one will be able to help me ever. there is no one to trust. i am hurting and i don't want to hurt anymore. pls