Thoughts

I am lonely and scared all the time. I just want to cry so hard but I don't want my headache to get worse and I can't sleeeep. This is the worst time of the day for me and I don't have anyone to talk to .. actually I have a lot of great friends but somehow I can't talk and say what's on my mind to them .. I can't express my feelings all the time,, It seems like I choose loneliness despite how much I hate it , how come?