Thrice

My friends thinks they know me too well. I've been hanging out with them for almost 5 years now, they're cool though. But even though you've got so many cool friends, you've got same vibes with them, you hang around almost everyday and can still feel that hollow emptiness. I've never been lost in my thoughts, it was the first time, it was like floating in an abyss hearing voices you've never heard of. Those we're the first weird things I experience by myself.


I always look so normal with my friends around, but inside my head, it was in chaos. I keep asking myself if it's okay to ask them about that but then I realized it will be awkward and out of the place, so I decline the thought.


Until those sad nights came, I cried so hard I fell asleep. It became a cycle. Crying myself to sleep became a new normal thing.


My friends know nothing. I didn't tell no one. My family? They never cared. No one does.


It's been years and I'm still pretending that I'm fine and full of happy shits in me. I don't know how but I committed suicide thrice. Again, no one knows about my melancholic stature.