I literally can’t anymore. I have tried so hard for over 2 years and it is causing way more issues at this point than it’s actually helping. I met and started dating a guy, who I’ll call Steve, who has a son, who I’ll call Bob, with another women. Let’s call her Jane. Steve told me when I met him that the baby mama is crazy and tough to deal with. I accepted the challenge and had no idea what I was getting myself into, but was still going to do the best I possibly could. I am figuring this out as I go and I’m not perfect, but everything seems to be go way too wrong for when I feel I am doing the right thing. I take care of Bob like my own. I have no kids of my own, but he has become mine. I love him and care for him and give him the world he deserves. His mother on the other hand doesn’t help him with his school work, goes on vacation when the school year is starting, doesn’t let the kid see his father, doesn’t pay a lot of attention to her son when he’s at her house. She literally just fought Steve to have her son for Thanksgiving so she could spend time with him and then pawned Bob off to a grandparent for the day before Thanksgiving and left him there until dinner time on Thanksgiving. Then, after picking him up, she took him to his aunts house and still didn’t spend any time with him. When my boyfriend and I talked to him on Thanksgiving, he just about cried because he wasn’t with his real family on a day that is all about family. She literally just wants the child support money so she can use it on herself instead. When I try to support her son, I turn into the bad guy because I am not his parent. I tried to explain to her that I treat Bob like my own and have done nothing but give him the best that I can and that I feel that Bob has 4 parents who care for him and just want the beat for him.
But, because I keep trying to give him the world and make sure his homework is done and he is doing the absolute best he can, I am the bad guy and I am ruining my relationship. Because Jane is so crazy, any time I get involved at this point she just doesn’t let Steve talk to or see his son. So anytime Steve tries to push back and make sure that Bob gets his work done and this or that, Jane comes back with don’t insult me as a mother. So because of how she reacts, Steve is getting crusted that I’m still pushing to help Bob do the best he can. I want the best for Bob and Steve and Jane I guess are starting to feel like I have bad intentions. I don’t know what to do anymore because Bob deserves a dad who will fight for him and a biological mother who cares about her son enough to let her son be cared for by another woman.