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A Father's Pain

Ever stabbed yourself in the leg or broken your hand against a wall just to escape emotional and mental pain? The monther of my daughter is a narcissists and unfaithful. I can leave and be deadbeat weekend dad. But I see how happy our daughter is when we are together. I chose to pretend and be happy. And make it work. Deep down I love this lunatic. The emotional stress can add up and since she's a narcissist she doesn't realize I'm suffering. I never been cussed out for the smallest BS. I have to bite my tongue till It bleeds at times to avoid arguments most of the time. I have learned to stfu and take the bs. Never been punched in the face for accidentally smearing Make up. But I would rather go through 18 years of emotional And mental anguish then have my daughter wondering where her daddy is. I aint missing a day of my daughter's life. I will take all the bs And pain to make sure she doesn't have a painful and broken childhood. I grew up with addict's for parents. I was on my own at 14. I'm no saint either. I got my shit together a little better And got a place to raise my own family. My daughter's got a better life then I ever had. Anyways. I have mastered keeping positive and being All smiles and sunshine. Being a father means having to suffer And hold it together for my daughter's well being. I have seen to many dad's leave due to similar issues and the man always seems to be labeled the "fuck up" if they separate.. anyways suck it up. Punch a wall or something. Broken bones and fat lips heal.