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A feeling

hi all.....

just to know if i am normal.

I make friends with guys but i dont feel good after having sex with them, i cant continue to be friends with them. i totally cut from them.

i look for change every time and i feel boring at times with the same guy.

all this comes to me as a feeling because the guys i have had in my life never really loved me the way i wanted to be loved.

and my fantasies are wild at times i am shy to even tell them just thinking what he would think of me. i have lost real good guys down the lane.

i am still looking for a guy to settle with but i am afraid if after marriage i will still have this feeling of boredom with the same guy. if i will look again for another.?

should i see a psychiatrist?

the worse part of me is when i have a urge for sex i google down men meet up have what i want and they want to pursue friendship but i dont am i the one night stand person?

deep within me i am loving, caring and very feeling hearted but the world knows me like one arrogant person.

I just cant say no to people and i put a brave front most of the time, i am not so wealthy but i act like one.

i have big huge dreams but i have no money to see it further

i have potential i can do alot but i have no support, and i am afraid of going out and facing the world.

i cant keep friends for long, as i said i get bored, and i dont care about them if i know that they back bite and talk ill

i feel lonely

i feel tired

i feel sick

and i feel lost......