I have been depressed when I was in 9th grade and I'm 21 now. 3 years ago I have been cheated on by boyfriend I lost my self completely I have done things I'm not proud of I caused my family a lot of embarrassment I didn't talk to anyone about all this I even tried to kill myself twice! and started avoiding all my emotions like I don't even feel anything but lately I started questioning myself why am I alive? What I want to do with my life? I'm just living same exact day over and over again i never wanted this i want to be happy I want to be loved I want to find me