A life I definitely was not expecting.

It appears by reading the rants and raves that I am not alone in my battles. I have been married for close to 15 years and almost to the point of saying "the hell with this" and just leaving. The reason I don't do that is because I didn't marry just for a convenience. The problem is that every day after work I come home to a drunken scene. It's been going on for as long as I can remember and I am tired of having be careful what I say or do without her exploding in a fit of rage. I am tired of having to hide the keys just to put myself at ease before bedtime. I an tired of not being able to have friends over.I am tired of always having to abandon my own livingroom and retreating to the bedroom. I am tired of looking more forward to a painful day at work than staying home. I am tired of not being able to enjoy a day off because I end up having to leave my own house and go to other places. I do not do these things to avoid issues as I try a different approach each day.

This is an everyday thing. I am a retired 1sg and I make crazy money so sure it would be easy to leave but she doesn't work (and absolutely refuses to) therefore her finances would be 0. It seems I would be used to these things in my 27 years in the service but it appears not to be the issue. I am in constant pain (war injuries lol) after work and I think it would be nice to have someone to talk to each day. Talk about being at "wits" end... well this is me.

If anyone has any encouraging advice, thanks in advance, but please make it sound and just because unless you've ever been in a situation like this it'll most assuredly fall on deaf ears.

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Re: A life I definitely was not expecting.

Hey man,

I can understand what you are going through. Besides the wife being drunk when I come back home its a LOT of adjustments day in day out. But you know that is marriage. One of the two works harder to make the marriage work. I have been married for about he same time as you. And things can get on your nerve sometimes. So I have created my spaces in the house. Create your den where you can spend your time when u need to. And make the rules clear that that space has limited access for others.

Also you should try marriage counselling. I have not done that myself but assume it would be helpful to communicate with your wife.

Not sure if this is what you were looking for but hope it helps.