I decided to stop complaining about how hard things and about anything, just live silently and do my best.. because complaining cost me much time and the person I loved the most. It is a toxic a habit I picked from my sister and it didn't get me anything I was too dependant on it to make excuses why I'm the way I am without working or trying.. However my older sister started thinking the everything is slick and smooth for me and caused me a little trouble, so in front of her I complained a little and my parents did made it seem like I am having harder time because they noticed she sort of gets jealous of me.. And if we fight they'd support he so she'd leave me alone.. But it took so much energy from me and I just decided to not have much contact with her.. Like I don't say anything except I'm busy and have so much to do.. so I try my best or finish all my tasks .. But it didn't matter, she just thinks I'm making excuses, I have become chill and more relaxed and I focused my emotions on important things and I try not to let anything get to me, and it really took so much time and practice to get to this point, it was just a one night thing, I really worked so hard to become the way I am today..But she doesn't know that no matter what at the end of the day I still feel not good enough, lonely, sad .. she doesn't know the headaches and eye ache I get or how hard it is for me to sleep without overthinking and that some days I just don't wanna get out of bed.. she doesn't know that I am rejected by someone I loved so much, and that no one texts me unless I do.. she doesn't know how unloved I feel some days.. And my parents give her attention and we all feel bad for her situation but she doesn't work on it and everyone just had enough..Because of her I try my best not to cause my parents trouble and I keep everything to myself.. but she only thinks that I'm pretending to be a good daughter so she can look bad.. I'm tired of all this drama, it's on daily basis and I just wanted a person to talk and laugh with .. but even that I can't because I was ghosted because of my complaining and apparently being so attractive is rather a problem because "it's too teasing" to just be friends with an attractive girl..