I went on a date with a boy Saturday night. We have known each other since the fifth grade. We always had a crush on eachother but it was nothing more than just young puppy love. We went our separate ways in high school. We hung out together this past summer, but it didn't really go anywhere because I couldn't offer myself to him fully. I was just starting antideppressants and felt I needed to learn more about myself before I invite someone into my life. I want to get into it more but right now I don't have the energy to get into my emotions. LOL But I have so much excitement and butterflies in my heart, I need to release them somehow. So I am here telling you. I keep replaying our date in my head. Especially the part when he kissed me. AHH we finally kissed after years and years of wanting to. I stopped him and told him I don't want to move to fast. He was okay with it. It was silent in the car afterword so all these thoughts start running through my head. We were on the way back to my house because both our parents wanted us home. We were approaching the street I live on and I told him to pullover, I was anxious for clarity. Yes, I know I pulled the "what are we" line, well almost. I just wanted to clarify with him that I want to wait to connect physically. Which he understood, we clarified our feelings and our intentions. It was so fulfilling to hear. After we talked I of course straddled him for a long awaited intimate make out session in the front seat of his truck. I can't stop replaying it in my head, not that I want to ;) It's funny, because mid kiss we talked about how much we wanted to just kiss each other. I think we were so overwhelmed prior the kiss with anticipation. It's something we wanted to do since the sixth grade, us being juniors in high school, now finally being able to make those intimate moves it was exhilarating. His hands on my skin, being in his arms, his hands in my hair, I felt ... there is no word to describe it, I felt whole being intimate with him even thought we didn't completely physically connect. Both our parents wanted us home at that point of the night but it felt impossible to stop kissing. After many "last kisses", he walked me to the door, came in to talk with my mom for a bit, and we hugged goodnight. He's so perfect, I'm so weird when it comes to emotions but I am head over heels.