A Need

I keep waking up with a feeling. A Need. I have no idea for what. I am unsatisfied with everything in my life, but I'm not sure what I long for. I fight the urge to say something nasty whenever I'm just talking pleasantly with someone because of this discomfort in my head. I just ache for something. It gnaws at the back of my mind, ravenous for something I can't provide. I just want to fill this need, to make it stop to bring an end to this obnoxious hum in the dark corners of my mind.

What do you want, you stupid body? We have come out LUCKY in this pandemic. We are FORTUNATE. You are pretty well off considering all the misfortune, so what is the big effing problem? This need is like music, too far away to understand, but loud enough it draws attention. I just want to know what it is.

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24 days ago

Re: A Need

I feel like you are similar to me. Though I feel little to empathy towards people now. I used to care about people until I saw what careless people they turn into when they see who you truly are under the "dark mask". Trust me I have no judgement for whatever thoughts or urges you have. I feel like if you find a way to channel these urges into something or a way to control them with suppression(because society doesn't accept apathetic people or people with dark urges/thoughts) you should be able to have more control over your life. I myself am struggling to find control but I am looking and trying to look for my way of handling my urges. I have no shame or judgement towards you. If you would rather want to hurt people or rather save people you would still be just a normal person in my eyes. I accept you for who you are stranger. Don't think you are alone in this.