hi, sometimes I think I just want kill my self i have tried 3 times..I wish I just leave from this world I didn't ask to be here anyways I been through a lot me speaking as a 13 year old girl I have been sexually assaulted and groomed by a 20 year old and my dad touch me places where he's not supposed to. I had this guy that told me I need to be skinny and some people in my school told me also and that cause me to have bulimia i was super skinny even my parents notice but they thought it bc of all the pills I take I don't have bulimia anymore I am two years clean I just want someone to be proud of me when I was 12 I got sexually assaulted by a group of people in the bathroom and that's when I started having depression and cutting I still do it I'm trying not to it's just too hard to think about what happened in the past have really bad anxiety and I get punished for it in school and at home I really just want one someone to be proud of me and love me but all they do is punish me for everything so everything's my fault say You're fat ,ugly ,stupid ,worthless ,an excuse,embarrassment I just really really wanted end my life but there's just one person that actually cares about me but I can't leave so I have to stay here if people would think it how is she killed herself because she wanted attention really hate my life I have tried to tell people eye problems all they do is leave or Block me I just no one cares about me to be honest I don't even care about myself so what's the plan I have tried so many times to get help but...... When I get help all they can do is sit there and thank God she's the happiest girl she's the funniest girl I don't know how she can be sad deep inside I'm really sad I'm really in pain even though I'm just 13 you can't be depressed at 13 they said you can't be tired they said you're not the one that pays the bills you can be tired stop being lazy you are an embarrassment to us they said why do you never talk to me they said why do you always have an attitude they said are you always in your room why you crying you have no reason to be crying your life's not hard they said you act like you have the worst life ever they said why are you cutting yourself for attention they said you are kind of too fat they said kill yourself they said we don't even want you here anyway they said.... I really hate my life right now to Connor you are the best thank you for everything thank you for being there when I need you even though you weren't really to be honest you're kind of like the best guy friend I ever had thank you I love you to Michaela how can I say this you were always there when I was sad you're always there when I was mad you were always there since day one you're like the only friend. Didn't leave me you like the only friend that understands me you're the only person that ever loved me that cared about me I really love you thank you for everything to my parents thank you even though you didn't try. I really hope everyone has a good year month days without me I'm sorry to hurt y'all I'm sorry I lied that would stay with y'all but I just really can't right now just really just want to get out of this madness this pain thank you everyone for listening and Reading.