a month ago
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A promise to myself

I dont k anymore what to do

....i dont feel like doing anything...but just to sleep

Like i feel so fucked right now...

I hate my life.....dont k y dont ask me ..

I dont k i feel like this pressure building inside my head...and then finally i cant take it anymore....like literally i cant...god ks i tried...

I dont k whats wrg with me like even with a small problem i feel so frustrated that i just wanna end my life.

My heart is getting heavy like i always have a bad feeling like i don't k how to explain...

Like early whn mom was here she used to ask me question ...someday i dont have to wry cauz there wont be any oral ....but then too with each step i take i feeel so heavy hearted i don't k its a kinda pressure inside me ..then i talk to myself like see i dont have any exams atleast no exam nearly 2 3 month and there no oral too then then y r u so tensed relax theres nothing to afraid off..i dont k like have i been the same before or am i noticing it now...i dont k..

And like even if i have some test i couldnt sleeep well i just keep tosing and turning and dream about my test every fucking time....like every fricking time.

Its like i cant control my mind and my body seems like a balloon filled with water...completely out of shape..

I need help....im not gonna make it alone...like u may think like shes so much overreacting....its just a simple topic every one can handle it on the own..

I cant.. i dont k y... i was never this weak ..i cant control my body...i cant i never responds..

Its not just about i sleep long.....there a thing that's gonna take control over me....

I wanna act chilled like i dont care but i cant even pretend like earilier....im not weak i hope..cauz i have fought a lot of stuff in my life ...maybe as i grow i ma losing my faith in myself or maybe I'm not brave enough or maybe i was never brave....what is i was pretending to be brave all these things ....i think im a terrible person..

I want to get back on line but i keep on delay it

As usual ....i want come back like a perfect version me never giving up version dont k when ....i will come back i gonna get back every fucking moment in my life were i wass not brave enough..and kinda ruined that moment i wanna make up to myself...i dont if i can do this or not but i promise one thing i will try ....will try hard..

Replied Articles

a month ago

Re: A promise to myself

Know I support you in all of this, I love you, and you are a wonderful human being, you are fighting so hard and you made it so far! Appreciate your strength, you are here today, when I feel overwhelmed with pain and daily stuff (work school) or whatever else I try to remember....am I really forced to live in a certain way? Are we forced to be what others expect?

We are infinite creatures...if you could erase all the pain right now and do something to enjoy yourself, what would you do? (Either with friends or alone) read a book? Go for a run? Eat out? Go out with your pajamas on?

Don't give a duck about what other people say, DO WHATEVER MAKES YOU FEEL ALIVE... remember school won't define you as a person!

I left highschool because of depression it caused me and now I feel so happy doing an online job created by me...you have infinite options...and we are here for you, we love you!

Do your best, you choose your life...be proud of you for being still here trying, I am sure you will keep your promise, we love you!