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A Rocky Path

I have always believed that God has a path for everyone and everything. However, sometimes I wonder why certain aspects in my life aren’t there. Why things so small impact me to the point where I can’t fall asleep at night. Why has God chosen this path for me? If I wrote a post for every thought that kept me awake at night they would be endless.

Recently I’ve wondered why I have lost certain relationships in my life. When I was younger I would often visit my cousins in a different state. I understand that things are different now that everyone is grown up and onto better things. Also that I was lucky to even have a relationship with my cousins in the first place. Although I’m jealous of other people who get to spend time with their large amount of cousins that develop into their best friends. Or others that take care of their little cousins. I wish I had that relationship in my life. I wish I could have a best friend in the family that I would look forward to seeing. Someone that would always have my back. I will never experience the friendship I would have with a cousin. So I wonder why? Why did God leave this relationship out of my life? What was the purpose? It hurts me for an inexplicable reason. I feel useless writing this post compared to the other bigger issues people on here have dealt with. I just want to know why I’ve lost a part of my life I could really use right now. Although I know I will never get the answer. Appreciate your loved ones, take care of yourself.

sincerely, yours truly