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Abandonment

I grew up with a alcoholic mother from as far back as I can remember. My father worked all the time, so as I got to be like 1st grade or so I was the adult. I would come home from school, hide my mom's booze if I could find it, her keys and money so she wouldn't wreck the car again. This was on going, we tried therapy clear up to lock up at the hospital. It finally ended when I took my first job. That week I lost my mother and my dog in a house fire. She had passed out, set the chair on fire. My dad and fireman called me. I ran home, we had sold a car that morning, so the police couldn't rule out arson. But I knew, and latter they did. My dad was somewhere and the body had to be identified. So I did it, I insisted. I couldn't tell from my mom's chard body if it was her, but I saw her rings. I think for my dad, he got over it quicker than me, he met a old sweet heart that he loved before WW2. They got married and moved. I keep screwing up relationships, cause a argument feels like total rejection, and I'm not loved. I have no friends, honestly I have ppl I know from the days. But I'm seeking help from a professional. But I really like to find someone that gets it, someone like me. Someone I could talk to, help me, and maybe help you also.

Jim