ABP & Me

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Bindu Priya A, I loved you a lot, I truly loved you. My mind chants your name every moment. I thought True love will definitely succeed. I couldn't stand before you, I wished you love me, I was not as intelligent, I was financially weak, my Family background was bad, I didn't have an attractive physique either. I wanted to build all these for you, I rested my beliefs in God, that's the way I was raised since I was born. I couldn't see the truth, instead I performed everything I can to build them (Intellect, Wealth, Attractive Body, Affectionate Family) in order to get you. But, All I could perform to achieve them were based on my beliefs, the belief in God. I Did Prayers, Visited temples, Performed rituals, Pleaded God, to give the eligibility and you. I wanted to give you the most, and live with you. But all my actions, ritual, everything that I performed based out of my beliefs were in vain. Because My beliefs itself are not based on truth and doesn't lead me to the reality in achieving it. I should have been more practical. My Experiences in the past have patternized my behavior. I got disturbed totally when I saw you Romancing with our colleague, It disturbed me psychologically. And you were close with the CEO, I couldn't take it. I always believed and dreamt of Marrying you. I always referred/treated the CEO as a parental/Teacher figure. And you Married some other guy, With the news of your Marriage, I couldn't stay there anymore, I saw you were interested in that Marriage, I heard your conversation about your marriage on a call. I was stuck, cannot kill myself (For several reasons like bringing my Mom out of debt, Stabilize sister's new marriage etc.,) neither could I bear a single moment of my life. I resigned and travelled back to my hometown a month before your marriage. I suffered a lot. Actually when things weren't working and you were romancing with some other guy, I tried every belief of mine and Pleaded any God to help me and let me know what I can do for that help. But, you are happy romancing a guy, having relationship with a guy and marrying and having sex with another Guy. You are really happy and cool now. Whereas I am a virgin at the age of 27, repressed my feelings and sexual needs in the name of good culture. Repression leads to perversion or a struggle within yourself disturbing you psychologically. I suffered Mentally. I couldn't come out of wanting you. My pain seems like a comedy to third persons. Can somebody please explain me is it legal, moral and not sin to have sex with mutual consent before and after Marriage with whomever they wish to have (other than husband)?

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