Hi, I'm a young person and as a family, we are really poor but, that's not the issue. I have a mom, older sister, and a young brother. I'm the middle child. I have a boyfriend which I get along well with. However, I feel like I am always there to listen to other peoples problems but, I get no chance to let out my own. For example, my sister and I got into a fight and it got physical. In short, she chocked me. As expected I got mad but, I also left the trailer. I left to go to the beach downtown where I live, It was a one to a two-hour walk. On the way, I called my bf holding back tears. He just kept going on and on about what he was doing and didn't bother asking anything. I know it isn't his fault because I need to bring it up. I managed to tell him I left the trailer but, he wasn't really listening. I ended up hanging up and just texting him I wanted to focus on walking. When I finally got to the beach it was so quite and dark. It looked like a black hole cause the ocean was so dark from the sky being night time. I cried knowing I was the only one who felt like shit. I told myself I hated how no one listened. I hated how I can't tell anyone about my problems. I hated how if I show any type of anger it was all just called an attitude for them. I never felt sad or angry or any bad emotion it all because I had an "attitude" for the day. Later, I was mad at my sister and she didn't bother doing anything about me leaving. (I never left and that was the first time.) She said she didn't really care about me or me being either she just thought I had an "attitude". It is just a phase that's going to happen. That I will be back to myself in a couple of days. I tell myself If my friends are happy then I'm happy to. When I'm sad I smile and tell myself I'm fine. I laugh when I'm nervous or scared. People get annoyed when I tell them I want to be by my self. I just realized that I am lonely. I know it's selfish of me. I have family and a bf. I feel like I let people tell me their problems and I can soak it up like a sponge. I just want me in my life. When my boyfriend gets sad I help him with his problems but, I don't think he can do that for me because I don't know how to teach him to do it. I have been keeping a lot inside me. I get desperate sometimes and just vent to complete strangers online (like right now) which isn't fair to them because I am shoving a lot of nonsense and bombs that they shouldn't have to deal with. This happened like 2 weeks ago but, I still feel the pain from it. A lot of my pain has been building up. I just swallow it and keep it down my heart. I just came across this website. I mean I don't usually type but, I can't help and do. Well, thanks for reading this. From the lonely flame, Flamey