advice or just comfort or anything?

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I cried for hours today because i think my gf is losing feelings. I tried talking to my friend about it, but she made it about herself like always. I can never tell anyone anything because they never truly help, so I just keep it inside. Some days I feel loved, and other days I dont. Even when I do feel loved, deep down I know that i love everyone else more than they love me. It hurts when I feel like i have to act a certain way or else everyone will leave me. i cry a lot and sometimes i cant even cry i just feel numb. things were getting better, but it all turned to shit. i feel myself slipping back into that dark place again. im starting to go back to school and sports practices are two hours long now. i hate my sport but I have to do it for college credit. i hate school. i always do my hw at 11 pm. i want everything to feel the way it did a few months ago, and i cant even truly tell people how i feel. Im the person people vent to and dump their problems on. then im told how i cant comfort people right and everyone just treats me like i dont have feelings. people treat me like my life is perfect just cause i have friends and a significant other who im not convinced even wants to be with me. my mom gets on my nerves a lot and i feel like im so stuck with everything.

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