I’ve been depressed for nearly 6 years. I’ve had anxiety my entire life. I’ve become a liar to avoid confrontation. I lie to my friends and family about what I’m doing. I lie in the hopes of making them like me or be proud of me. I lie to myself sometimes. I can’t take feeling alone anymore. I hate myself. I was honest with a complete stranger online about stuff. I told them stuff I hadn’t told anyone ever and it felt so good. So I will be using this place to also be honest so I can begin to be honest with my friends and family and myself. Truths: I lie all the time to impress or make me people like me in the hopes I don’t feel alone anymore. I’ve had thoughts of killing myself for over 3 years. I’ve been so crippled by depression I can’t leave my bed or room for months. I’m terrified I’ll be alone for the rest of my life that I’ll have no friends and no love. At the end sometimes I really want to kill myself. I’m a virgin. I want to kill myself. I’m horrified that I’ll be like this for the rest of my life. I have intrusive thoughts about being gay and a sissy(there is nothing wrong with being these things I just feel they are not me). I have intrusive thoughts that I am a horrible person. I just have so many mental problems. I just to be better and happy.