I am 22. I not only have a medical condition that limits everything I do and could kill me at any moment, but I was diagnosed with PTSD, bipolar disorder, Aspergers and bulimia nervosa in my teens after being sectioned several times and put in psych wards.I was beginning to make progress with my mental illness about 4 years ago, and then my mum was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer, and she passed away within 5 months. She was abusive in my childhood and my dad was too, he’s a drug addict and an alcoholic and her passing was horrific and traumatising. Since her death my dad has stolen from me, abused my dogs, insulted me and treated me so badly that I had to move out with my fiance even though I didn’t want to because my fiancé is so mentally ill himself after a horrific childhood that he accidentally emotionally abuses me and clings onto me. I now live in a bungalow with my fiancé (we have been together since I was 14 by the way, I’ve tried to leave but he has attempted suicide when I’ve left and I have literally no one else) and the bungalow is full of mould caused by the water leaks and it’s making me ill but No one is coming out to fix it and I’m too mentally and physically weak but to try and push for it anymore.This is literally the only communication I’ve had with other people other than my fiancé and dad and Facebook groups for years. I’m scared to talk to people, I genuinely have not one family member or friend.On top of this I am so bad with my bulimia that every single day through it the whole day for over a year now I smoke weed and get hungry then binge on tons of food and then purge it, usually in a plastic bag if I can’t be bothered to move, then do it again and again and again, today I’ve done it 12 times so far.I just drink and smoke and get fucked snd t try my best but it doesn’t matter snymore. My mind is too far gone and this is the first time I’ve ever written all of this down in one go. I am in so much pain. I nearly died trying to kill myself so many times as a teen but since my mum died I am too scared, so now even that isn’t an option. So I just sit and suffer until my heart condition takes me or I gather up the strength to shoot up heroin and die.