Never done this before but I just really want to say this with out people in my life freaking out. I have never so desperately wanted to not exist in my entire life and I've prayed to a God I don't belive in for death every night for over a decade. It's not a reaction to something that happened. I've just from a young age despised the idea of "life". I hate everything about it. That's been compounded by years of seemingly horrible luck in all aspects of life. Now to make things worse the one thing I use to be able to even find a semblance of enjoyment from, video games, are starting to make me want to blow my brains out even more. I feel like life is just endless suffering, scavenging for scraps of happiness. I hate it.