Never been more alone in my entire life. All of my old friends are out of touch and live very far. No dating life to speak of whatsoever. Can't seem to find somewhere I fit in and belong. Any attempts to make friends fails as I'm immediately shunned by people for no reason. "Oh just be happy! Fake it till you make it!" It ain't that simple for people like me. Seriously how does someone break free from this shit? I've spent my whole life now just dealing with depression and anxiety through the roof. Never had a real relationship but at least I had great friends in the past and some good times. Now all of that is gone. What is my God damn purpose here? When everyday turns into a constant mental battle within myself always second guessing and self doubting how the fuck am I supposed to just fix this over time? I always feel like I see the light but can never get anywhere fucking close to it. It's like a fucking curse or some shit. I admire those in life who can just wake up, take serious action and get shit done. Polar opposite of me, I'm just some God damn dip shit wasting away for nothing trapped in my own mind feeling deep down like there is something much greater for me but never actually seeing it in reality. Was I a fucking tyrant in a past life who slaughtered an entire village or something and now my soul has been brought back to suffer? Absolute waste of time my life has been to this point and for some reason I'm still going albeit with no fucking idea why. Rarely do I have suicidal thoughts but today for some reason it hit me like a ton of bricks. Anyways, I'll keep on moving despite hating every God damn second of it. If you read this whole thing, I'm honestly amazed and wish you the best.