I always dreamed of growing up and having a spouse with a cat and a little home. As I’ve gotten older I’ve come to terms with my sexuality, now realizing my spouse would be a woman with our cat running around. That was a hard enough pill to swallow and share with others. Now I’m dealing with even harder news that my dream of getting married and running away with the love of my life will never come true. My best friend has fallen in love, I’ve been surrounded by couples my whole life, I deal with my sisters family that she’s happy with. I realize more and more each day that I have nobody. I will die alone with nobody to put a ring on their finger. It will be me, sitting alone on my kitchen counter nursing a cup of coffee by myself. I don’t know why I suddenly need to share this, but it’s beyond overwhelming right now. I live in fear that I’ll never move out of my parents home, that I’ll never actually fall in love, that I’ll die alone with nobody around to give the slightest shit about my decaying corpse. I have always felt alone and will always feel alone. I will die alone. And I don’t know if I should feel this okay knowing that truth.